Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
