I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
