apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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