You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
