I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
