Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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