For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
