I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
