i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
