I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
