she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
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