i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
No subtext here. People are naked.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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