I love black thongs
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
