Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
