great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
