Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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