i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
