I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
