I want to have your abortion
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
