nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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