Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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