guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
