i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
