I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
After last night, I could never be a politician.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
