im drinking this country out of the recession.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
