Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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