its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
