Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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