did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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