ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
