Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
