I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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