I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
this hospital has no fireball
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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