you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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