It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
