the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
