I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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