I want you more than these girls want KFC
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
