I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
