so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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