She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
