You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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