Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
