We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
