How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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