tell your sister to shave her snatch
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
