some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i think im in europe. pls send help
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
