The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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