you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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