We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
